BARRYON MY WAYWARD WESTWARD SON

Bannister-Hennigar Outlasts Skoal-Force Winds!

As legendary Jim Lahey used to quip during some of his drinking binges, “Can you hear it coming Bubs? The Winds of Sh** are here buddy.” So it was Saturday morning at the Skoal Bandits Shootout as a 70 km/hour westward gale force wind attacked KenWo GC, turning golf dreams into golf vomit. For the first time in KWGA history, not one golfer finished under par net. However, one man, known for the widest stance on Tour, was able to withstand the hurricane swirl in winning his fifth career title. Retired marathoner Barry Bannister-Hennigar fired an 80 gross (71 Net) to outlast pre-tournament favorite Mr. October and a well grounded Commissioner by one stroke to capture the 2018 Skoal Bandits Shootout. “Golf results are a combination of hard work and a little bit of luck.” said a smiling Bannister-Hennigar. “I know my golf ball looked more like a butterfly in a blender a few times today but I was able to guide it around the course well enough it looks like. Just please don’t ask me to do that again. Breeze like that makes my hair look too thin after 4+ hours.”

Bannister-Hennigar’s outward nine was solid considering the circumstances and the amount of practice balls he had hit prior to the round, zero. Four pars in his first 6 holes meant his wheels were well entrenched and the mindset was clear. A birdie at the Par 3 11th vaulted him into contention on a day the KWGA saw just seven birdies total. Double bogeys at #13 and #18 threatened his chances and he clung to hope walking up to the clubhouse following the round. “I knew guys like the 4th Reich and Double Double were behind me so I had to hold on for dear life.” said Hennigar. “It’s a great win for me. I am headed to the coasts of Spain here very shortly and I am sure my game will slip a bit after some beach walking in that environment from what I have been told.”

“Rod should have no problem getting here today. It’s blowing west after all.” ~Maxwell-Smart

Pre-tournament favorite Mr. October also found himself in another hunt not associated with animals Saturday morning. The Fort Myers, FL resident has begun his season as predicted and was in contention once again. Not known for the highest ball flight, conditions leaned in favour of a man like October, and take advantage he did. His outward nine featured three pars and a 43 gross for a man lugging a 19 handicap around, and that is tough to beat. However, leading by three strokes he would begin his own personal Demolition Derby on the Par 4 16th, taking a 9, turning a three shot lead into a 1 stroke deficit. Bogeys at #17 and #18 would seal his fate on a disappointing day. “You know, it could be worse, I could be out working or fixing a blown down fence at home.” said a straight-faced October. “My world will not change because I lost a golf tournament today. My dogs and wife will still love me when I get home. Plus, it’s almost time to put the sea-dos in the water out in Aylesford. I will be back next week.”

By the 14th hole, Air Bud had finally had enough and took matters into his own hands.

Rounding out the Top 3 was The Commissioner, whose plan was to keep things simple by choking down, teeing it down and ripping the hell out of it. A birdie at #1 got things going but he would bogey six of the next seven holes to finish a front nine 40 gross. After going 4 over in The Orchard, calamity threatened the 6’5 non-marathoner. After having his ball picked up, a drop in some rocky terrain near the 15th tee provided a scary approach into the 14th green. “I was just praying I didn’t hit too much rock and send my ball into the woods behind the 14th green, let alone hit an unattentive Grampy roaming the green aimlessly in his Fonda hat.” said The Commissioner. A solid bogey at #16 and pars coming in on #17 and #18 put the burnt scalped Commissioner in for his 35th career Top 3. “There is no glory in finishing in the Top 3. It just means you came the closest to not winning any money. I am happy just the same. We had a great turn out with a great day and some great giggles upstairs after the round and that’s all I care about right now. So if you will excuse me, I have to get ready to drive to Yarmouth with Burkie. It’s the price I pay to get a ride to the course with him this morning.”

Chester Golf Club- Saturday May 26

I have contacted Chester GC Head Pro Dan Fraser and he is going to get back to me with a price quote on Monday May 7 regarding our open date for Saturday May 26. After asking all members that came up to the bar following yesterday’s round, it was very clear that guys preferred to play Chester GC as opposed to Avon Valley. I will post the quote on the Top Right Hand Side of the website once I have heard back from Dan. (Make sure you scroll down the website a bit so that you don’t miss it!)

CHASE FOR THE PEARL NECKLACE UPDATE

After three weeks of play, Grampy continues to lead the Chase for the Pearl Necklace with 5 points. He was unable to add to his point total yesterday and that meant some golfers made up some ground. The Commissioner picked up two points this week on the back of beating everyone in his group and collecting 4 tee times up to this point in the season. The Fogg did the same this week while Mr. October picked up a point and has another point coming if  he secures his 4th tee time of the season Tuesday morning. Bip Trainor continues to hold strong at 3 points and will no doubt be a factor all season long. So go ahead, check out your Task List on your Member Profile pages under MEMBERS-YOUR NAME. Tasks you have completed thus far this season will be highlighted in green. Full standings can be found under STANDINGS-PEARL NECKLACE.

TOP 5 GOLF LICKS OF 2018

“Hey Gary, how many Weight Watchers points is saliva anyway?”

Inspired by Brad Marchand’s recent display of affection, I give you the KWGA’s version of the Top 5 Golf Licks thus far in 2018.

*BOB TRAINOR’S BIRDIE IN A GALE: After going 10-6 at the Par 4 12th and Par 3 13th yesterday, BIP summoned his inner Rocky Balboa, rising from the canvas to birdie the Par 5 14th. As playing partner Chris Rushton quipped following the round, “It was like watching the birth of co-joined twins…not very likely.”

*THE COMMISSIONER’S 3 BIRDIES IN THE VALLEY: This writer went 4-3-5-4-3 over the final five holes to turn rotten apples into a sweet cider round at the Captain Crazy Invitational.

*BOB TRAINOR’S WIN AT THE FLOWER CART CLASSIC: Honestly, did anyone see THAT coming?

*DOUBLE DOUBLE THRICE IS NICE: Gerry Elliott turned back the clock in a 3 birdie performance at the Captain Crazy Invitational.

*GARY JOHNSON’S SILENCE: For the first time ever, Gary Johnson had nothing to say yesterday afternoon after being queried about Brad Marchand’s antics just the night before…Just what I expected…silence.

News, Notes & Quotes

The Commissioner is given his options by Grampy before leaving KenWo Saturday afternoon.

*”Do we really HAVE to go to Yarmouth Wayne? I only asked for a ride to the course, not for your 4th born!” ~The Commissioner    This week The Commissioner’s vehicle landed in the repair shop and so he was needing a drive to KenWo Saturday morning. This writer hesitated to ask Wayne because there always seems to be strings attached to any favour. So to no one’s surprise, upon exiting KenWo grounds Saturday afternoon, Wayne’s vehicle turned LEFT, and not RIGHT toward Wolfville, where this writer lives. Thanks again Wayne, I enjoyed the scenery.

*”THIS is how you get ready to play golf each Saturday Fogg? If you can’t beat ’em…join ’em.”~Grampy.

*Next week we celebrate 20+ years of memories at the Legends Lounge Memorial. The KWGA will welcome a special guest in Wolfville born and bred Tim Prescott as he returns from Indianapolis, Indiana for a visit. Tournament sign-up and volunteer boxes have been posted on the website. The deadline to sign up for golf is Monday night at 9pm.

*SEE YOU NEXT WEEK!