Not even a family emergency could stop Nick Levy Saturday morning at the KWGA’s most coveted championship, the 2015 Masters. After some early morning scrambling, Levy barely made it to #1 tee on time…and was he ever glad he did. Levy fired an impressive 77 (-6) holding off a spirited run by Gary’s Biggest Johnson and The Weasel Locke to take the title by two strokes and cement his spot in KWGA history. Levy’s round started in electric fashion, hitting the flag-stick on #2 and tapping in for a short birdie at #3 to take the lead. After a double bogey at #5, Levy went -1 the rest of the Front Nine carding an impressive 36. His Back 9 had a hiccup at #14 where he double-bogeyed the Par 5 14th but Levy was able to steady the ship, parring the last 3 holes in impressive fashion to secure his first win on tour and putting him in the elite group of major championship winners. “This is hard for me to grasp at the moment. I hit the ground with two feet running this morning and I haven’t stopped, so this hasn’t sunken in yet.” said an elated Levy. “To join the likes of Maxwell and Elliott as Masters’ Champions is something I only dreamed of, now it is reality.”

The win vaulted Levy from 22nd to 12th in the FEDEX Standings and put the KWGA on notice that a new contender is in play. However, Saturday’s story was not all about Levy, as Hantsport’s Johnson defied the odds and made his own run at the championship after surviving a triple-bogey 7 at the 9th hole. A birdie at #14 got the Back 9 roars started, and needing 2 pars in the final 4 holes, Johnson couldn’t quite get the job done, bogeying all 4 to let his claim slip through his grasp. “Nobody expected much out of me today, including Las Vegas and The Commissioner.” said a spirited Johnson. “I really thought I had a chance after that birdie on #14 but those last 4 holes are challenging and I just couldn’t close the gap in the end. I am happy with where my game is at right now, so the rest of 2015 should be a fun ride. I can’t wait to get into the fray again. Maybe I am not such a long shot after all.”

Perhaps Saturday’s saddest yet most uplifting story came from the KWGA’s “Chicken Hawk” figure in Weasie-Locke. A solid 41 Front Nine had him primed for a Back 9 charge, but the wheels came off at #14, where like a wounded fawn he hunts in the woods, Weasie fell victim to a viscous attack. Nine wild, frustrating lashes took Locke out of the Masters lead and even a solid par 4 on #18 could not save him. The disappointment was etched all over his face following the round and he could only rue the hiccup at #14. “I felt great about my chances coming in here today.” said The Weasel. “I had a great week of preparation and my wife even learned what the term chesterfield rugby means. Revelations don’t just have to happen on the golf course ya know. I couldn’t be happier right now. Yes, I would have liked a Green Jacket today, but chesterfield rugby isn’t the worst consolation prize.

Saturday’s Masters was a “double the points” event and as a result the FEDEX Standings have become as condensed and thick as a bowl of chili at Tupper Lake. Barry Bannister-Hennigar’s solid play continued Saturday as the stench from Port Williams was forgotten with a 4th place finish which vaulted him to top spot in the race for the FEDEX Cup. “I needed these points today because I am taking 3 weeks off tour.” said Hennigar. “My kids have outgrown the Bill Lynch Shows in New Minas so we are driving to Toronto where they have a bigger Ferris Wheel.” The biggest mover was of course Levy who went from 22nd to 12th while Biggest Johnson went from 16th to 9th, just one point out of the race for the playoffs. Telly-Kelley improved from 13th to 10th while the biggest drop came in the name of Mr. Wildcat, whose 20th place finish in the Masters dropped him from 9th to 16th in the FEDEX Standings. “Boy, did somebody ever give this rough a good steroid program.” said a downcast Poirier. “I was in it so much the hair on my shaved legs even turned green.”

COMMISSIONER’S NOTE

Fellas, the last two weeks have been a nightmare sorting the money out upstairs and at Medford Beach. There are 3 containers with labels on them to aid you in this process. Place take a moment to read the container labels before just tossing your money on the table or in any container. It will make this process run much smoother. Thanks.

The Pink Piggy Bank ($1)- This is the KWGA Kitty. Place a loonie in this container. Support KWGA initiatives.

Plastic Container #1 ($1)- This is for the LOW NET winner each week.

Plastic Cylindrical Container #2 ($5)-This is where the $5 rang money goes.

“2015 MASTERS MOMENTS”

-Telly-Kelley gets up off the deck after 2 week absence with a birdie at #1 and an iron to 20 inches on #3.

-The Shooter birdies #2 and #8 for two rangs with the best Masters slacks in the tournament’s history.

-Barry Bannister Hennigar’s Back Nine 36 was the tournament’s best by 3 strokes.

-Double-Double went -1 over the final 4 holes.

-4 total KWGA “Helicopter” Club Tosses

-Seeing everybody gathered upstairs following the round…priceless.

THE MASTERS IN PICTURES

The Commissioner enlists the aid of some friends on the range prior to Saturday’s KWGA Masters.

The 4th Reich assesses his chances of reaching the green in two on the Par 5 14th hole  Saturday morning.

The Sheriff looks for some help with his quadruple bogey putt on #14 Saturday morning.

“Jeebers Creebers…I think I found it fellas.” ~Mr. Wildcat

Mr. October reminds everyone while walking the 18th fairway that golf isn’t everything.

See you next week fellas!

~The Commissioner