BUFFUDLED NO MORE?
Grampy Looks to Snap Major Drought
This year’s KWGA Masters brings with it the annual question. When will the KWGA’s Best Player to Have Never Won a Major finally break through? For Grampy, the question has dogged him relentlessly for five years, so much so that the Windsor Spitfire has left the province in preparation for Saturday’s showdown. Apparently the kitchen got a little too hot and he hit the trap door to PEI for his annual “Messy Fest” with another gaggle of men with fine motor skill and cognitive issues. So just what Grampy will return from The Island Saturday morning…and in what shape to win the most coveted title on The Tour? It’s anyone’s guess.
What we do know is that Grampy has finished a solid 4th and 3rd in his last two Masters narrowly falling short by 3 and 2 strokes respectively. His 2018 season has been pedestrian by his standards with just two of his last five KWGA rounds being under par including 12th, 7th, 7th, 5th and 6th place finishes. That’s not exactly sparkling but definitely trending in the right direction. So what will have to change for him to get his first major? “I am going to need shoot a 71 and get some help.” said a staggering Grampy from his veranda overlooking the Northumberland Strait. “Some of these guys like The Fogg and Weasie have 7-13 stroke leads on me before we even tee off. It’s like when I skate backward in my Old-Timers League hockey games. I can feel my opponents wind whipping past me before I can even swivel my hips. That Weasie prick, the guy waltzes in once a month and beats our brains in and we are expected to smile at him and not throw our dinner at him. This year I can’t promise him he won’t be wearing egg by the time he gets in his economy automobile. Mine’s faster anyway.”
“Mine’s Faster!” ~Grampy “Mine’s Bigger” ~Weasie
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