THE PEOPLES PLAYERS CHAMPION

TELLY-KELLEY WINS TPC IN SUDDEN DEATH PLAYOFF

(AP)- NEW MINAS, NS

On a day made for championship golf, the KWGA’s second major took on a life of its own, with one man, Telley-Kelley, outlasting the Denim Cowboy to win the 2018 Players Championship in the Tour’s second sudden death playoff.  A scorching 63 net (76 gross) did not surprise the pre-tournament odds-makers as “TK” was a 3-1 favorite heading into the event. “The most difficult part of the day was convincing two warriors to get out there and continue the fight.” said a giggling Commissioner. “Those two used to be linemates on the Anvil Draughts ball hockey team back in 1979 so you know how much tread is left on those tires. A lot of wear and tear to say the least. Give them credit though, TK even had a beer in him by the time he reached the tee at the playoff.”

At his best, TK is a par making machine with the ability to drip in the the odd birdie when you are not paying attention. It’s been the secret of his underdog success throughout his golfing career…and he was at it again at The Players, parring five of the first six holes for a Front Nine tally of 38. A birdie at #12 meant another Back Nine charge was under way. The steely glare and the focused straight ahead strut was back. A bogey at the Par 5 14th would be his last blemish on a championship round. “I have been playing better lately and things obviously fell into place today.” said a matter of fact TK following his round. “I knew when I parred #16 that I had a serious chance to win. What I didn’t know was that BIP and The Cowboy were also tearing it up behind me.” Indeed, after a double bogey at #14, the Denim Cowboy would go -1 gross the rest of the way, including a birdie at #15 that would eventually tie him for the lead.

BIP TRIED…BUT FALLING OFF THE HORSE WAS INEVITABLE ON THIS DAY.

Meanwhile, in his same group, BIP was on fire also, however, reality would come crashing down on him after a 6-9-7 finish to his round that would take him from first to tied for 9th in a heartbeat. “I have see prized race horses euthanized for less.” said a sympathetic Commissioner. “My heart was breaking for BIP. I just wanted so badly to walk up to him on the 18th tee, hand him an ice-chilled towel and a sandwich and guide him to the balcony above #1 tee. I am guessing he would have taken my up on it at that moment.” The final tally was in, TK and The Cowboy were tied and would head to the Par 3 115 yard “extra hole” for sudden death.

One man would go willingly, while the other needed a slight yank from the comfy confines of his post round recliner and beer. So what happened when you mess with the bull? Sometimes you get the horns. Both TK and the Cowboy would tally par 3’s on the tie-breakers first attempt. But the walk down to the tee below to fire again was not on these warrior’s minds. Instead, a chip off would settle this one. Both TK and The Cowboy would par again on a second attempt to break the deadlock. Finally, on the competition’s 3rd extra hole, TK would ram in a par putt while The Cowboy’s final 6 footer would miss the hole. Victory and a second major title would be TK’s. “An exhausting but rewarding day.” said TK from his perch above Ken-Wo. “It was painful but now I have a great story to tell. I remember how much The Cowboy had my back when I played ball hockey with him years ago, so it was hard to wrestle a major from his grasp. It’s days like these that remind me why I came out of retirement.”

ANOTHER CLOSE SHAVE

AIR BUD’S HEARTFELT CHEER FOR YET ANOTHER CLOSE CALL.

Saturday’s hard luck story was not hard to see, from UP close or far away. For the third time in the last four majors, Air Bud finished one stroke out of first place. Coming into Saturday’s Players Championship, Air Bud was an afterthought with the Vegas odds-makers at 16-1, last in the field. However, what they didn’t measure was the heart of a man who uses mental trickery on a daily basis. The man once again willed himself into contention during a season of struggle. Back to back birdies at #6 and #7 meant rang money and a flash as bright as some of those great Greg Norman bridesmaids rounds of the 1980’s. “Scott is like a male exotic dancer, you want to take your eyes away but you can’t.” said a beaming Commissioner. “You just HAVE to see what ends up happening even if it means mental scare tissue.” Great playing Scott. Your day will come.

FEDEX CUP UPDATE

With just four tournaments remaining in the Race for the FEDEX Cup, there is still a lot to be decided. Mike White continues to lead and is a lock for the playoffs with his 182.5 points after yet another sub-80 round and a 5th place finish at The Players. His level of play will be hard to beat. Defending champion Commissioner Ford is second with 142.5 points in a solid season in defense. A gaggle of KWGA vets make up the rest of the Top 8 that includes a fast-charging Grampy, Maxwel-Smart and certain host of a Cheeseburger Picnic next Saturday. However, the Tour’s Cinderalla story has quickly become Telly-Kelley, whose win Saturday vaulted him into the 8th and final playoff spot IN JUST 6 EVENTS! His 108.0 points lead Mr. Wildcat by 2.5 points and trail Mr. October by just 13.0 points. Five more golfers have 94.0 points or more making this the closest FEDEX Cup race in its five year history. With Barry Hennigar and Chris Rushton returning to Tour after vacationing last week, points will be at a premium the rest of the way which includes one last double point day, the Canadian Open on Saturday August 4.

Go to STANDINGS-FEDEX CUP for full details on where you stand.

CHEESEBURGER PICNIC-NEXT SATURDAY

Next Saturday Harold will be hosting us at his residence in Aylesford Lake. Here are some things to think about and know before then.

*Earlier Tee Times: I am suggesting 7:30-8:09am tee times for us next Saturday. That way I won’t feel so rushed to get ribs cooked and out to his cottage and it also gets us out to Harold’s for a larger portion of the afternoon. If you have objection to this, make your voice heard.

*Ken-Wo has allowed me to cook the ribs in one of their kitchen ovens while we are golfing. A special thanks to Rene and Heidi for allowing me to do this. Note: Harold, if I can’t fit everything in the oven at Ken-Wo, can I use your oven at home? I will keep you updated as the week progresses.

NEWS, NOTES & QUOTES

*A special thanks to KK and Jackie Redmond for making my day on Saturday! Jackie’s picture is the first memento to make the KWGA Hall of Fame! It’s not often that a professional sportscaster follows a local league of bar league golfers! For those who were not at the presentation Saturday…