THE MASTERS MESSIAH

Can Weasie Really 3-Peat?

Saturday kicks off the Major Championship season in the KWGA and you can’t talk about the 2018 KWGA Masters without first talking about Brent “Weasie” Locke. The two time back-to-back champion returns this Saturday to defend, and yes, flaunt his green jacket in front of a group of jealous middle-aged men in the heart of apple country. The man known as Weasie has baffled the field the last two Masters with his special brand of golf and signature smile but what lies beneath has proven to be a venomous snake of golf destruction once the golf balls start rolling. Couple that with a 20 handicap heading into the event and what you have is a clear favorite come Saturday. His only enemy will be inactivity as the city dweller has only been seen on the KWGA Tour twice this season with his last appearance being the Chesterfield Rugby Open in Chester where he finished a solid 4th at -2.

So what can we expect from Weasie this time around? Contention. There can be no doubting that wrestling the Green Jacket away from him will take a Herculean effort. The man has sprayed his scent on it like a deer does on its favorite maple tree. However, golf predators lurk in the form of Biggest Johnson, The Fogg and Grampy. Word on the street says that Weasie has been concocting a new scent for said predators this Masters in the form of a foul mood. At least he will save money not having to drive and drag that huge camper around anymore. Alas, I digress. Weasie has made it clear that he won’t be giving away anything else away easily as he answered questions from Golf Channel’s Brandel Chamblee. “I know these guys well enough to know that they will smile at me when they see me Saturday, but down deep, will be hoping that I crash and burn. I can’t blame them. They all chipped in for a trophy that they haven’t seen in 24 months. Listen, the bottom line is this. I’ve gotten in tip top condition and know how to bloat my handicap at just the right time. My biggest worry is letting those boys have any free time with my girlfriend at the bar after the round. Some of them are greasy.”

MEMORY LANE

The KWGA’s Birthplace

Do you remember? The genesis of the KWGA began on a hot summer day in July of 2013. There was no plan, no agenda, only a large gathering of men that formed organically like a good bowel movement without the intestinal foreplay, peristalsis. It was a veritable who’s who of Ken-Wo elite that gathered that day. Names like Murray, Kelley, Simmons and Elliott. Big names need a big event…and so The Masters was born. There was no “KWGA” back then, no social events or even prizes. That would come later. What was in place was 22 men fighting for a few bucks and a greenish colour winter coat that I found in a Frenchy’s outlet in Coldbrook. A proper green blazer with a Masters logo and a trophy would come later. There was no Nick Carey, no Scott Woodworth, no Kevin Poirier. That would come later. There was no website, no banquet, no fancy tie dyes, no cursing in German. That would come later. There was no “net” system in place. There was no forum for some of the most unique golf swings and moods to flourish. Alas, all we had was a gross system that made most golfers look for a lucky hole to win a rang, not a victory over all men. Oh wait, that’s what most of you are still looking for each Saturday.

The first Masters would be one to remember with the competition ending in a tie between Bob Maxwell and Rod Murray. What they shot that day is now lore, well, because I didn’t keep records back then, yet. That would come later. So what was decided? A sudden death playoff the following Saturday. The important part is not that Bob Maxwell won the playoff on the 1st hole that following Saturday. Instead, it was the ideas that started to percolate. How could we make this happen every week? That would come later.